Deep Creek (must read)

One of the moments I have stuck in my head was this past summer over 4^th of July weekend. Me and 7 other friends rented a house at Deep Creek Lake for 4 nights and with no parents, we just had the time of our lives. Our house was so secluded and about 80 yards away from the lake, with our own dock. It wasn’t a big house but with trees all around it and it being down a hill from the main road, it was our own private section of the lake.

The house we stayed in was a one floor, four-bedroom cottage-like house, with a kitchen and living area. It sat about 25 feet down from the road, it was probably a terrible driveway to deal with in winter. The slope just continued from the road down about another 80 years straight to the lake, with our own private dock. There was a spot to park two cars, and right outside the door was a picnic table, and this is where we spent a lot of our time. It was a real old style house, and I use the word, “style,” freely. It had carpets with designs, wooden walls, plain bedsheets, and just plain mattress comforters. Also just a plain wooden floor and basic household accessories. It wasn’t a house you would take your mom too for vacation, but it suited for us so well. It was very secluded from the road, and on the path to the lake there were huge trees, as well as big trees on either side of our house, it was very private. In the group of 8 of us, it was me plus 3 of my very close friends, and my friend’s older brother and 3 of his very close friends. That week, we all became very close.

This all leads up to the one part of this trip I remember vividly. It was probably around 12 in the morning the 2^nd day we were there, and about 6 of us were all sitting down on the dock, and on this big rock right next to it. There was a buzz from the boats and jetskis out in the water. Also the crash of the waves on the shore. It was a perfectly sunny day, maybe 70 degrees, but with the big trees on the shore we were still in the shade. It was almost a surreal feeling. No phones, just us and the lake. We didn’t have a care in the world, just hanging out, chit-chatting, cutting up, reminiscing, talking about the future, just having a great time. I remember I had my feet in the water, the water was maybe 55 degrees, kinda chilly, but it felt good on the warm day. I remember us waking up and slowly making our way down there, and we were maybe down there for 2-3 hours. We might have stayed there for the whole trip honestly if we didn’t have to eat.

That was one of the best times of my life. It is a trip I hope to make again with these close friends. Getting away from everything and going to a great place like that really is an awesome feeling.

Truth about Christmas

I found out the truth about Christmas when i was real young. I went to a christian school until 6th grade and all the kids there all knew a lot of things that young kids shouldnt know because their parents had taught them. So like i remember as early as around kindergarten the kids all thinking i was crazy to still believe in santa claus. It was one of those things that i always knew was probably was true, but i just wanted to be able to say i still believed. My parents always said, "Oh no sweetie he's real," but they kinda said this i think because i had a younger brother who definitely still believed so they didnt wanna spoil it. In reality though, once you get to about 7-8 years old, you start to notice little things that make you realize that Santa isnt real, scuh as similar wrapping paper as the presents from your parents, and also their handwriting on the tags.

I really wish that more kids believed in santa at a young age. I used to love believing in santa, and it was always one of those cool mystical things as a kid. I miss those days. I guess i dont really believe in anything anymore, except for like, my own dreams. But in reality that is all we really have.

the Love is not lost

My friend Jason’s mom makes the best cookies and cakes I have ever tasted. Like I understand it is not hard to make good cookies, but she took them to a new level. What kind of cookies you ask? Well she literally made all kinds. And she made the best cheesecake. When I won the state championship two years ago, she made me 3 cheesecakes, and I barely even let my family try them. They were that good.

Margie Kumpfmiller got cancer a few years back. For anyone who has never had to deal with cancer, it is a hard disease to have anyone close to you involved with. It really isn’t easy to put your finger on it, but its almost unreal. I mean like I was around it a lot with Jason and his siblings talking about it, but it got real over the summer. She was always so strong through it all. I didn’t even realize how much she really meant to me until she was really gone, and I think that’s why her death was so hard on me.

She is probably the strongest woman I ever saw like she really has been through a lot in her life from b  raising 3 kids to playing a helping hand in raising me, considering how much I was at her house. I remember back when we used to have to get rides to go places and she was the only aren’t who would let us listen to dirty music. We all love her because the way she was not afraid to treat us like adults, but at the same time she would always put us in our place if we needed it.

daily dosage for the pain

What is really going on anymore. Ha i think the fact that we're going to college soon has everyone going nuts. Even myself. It's like we are all so ready to leave and get away. It's like we dont know how to feel because we all wanna get close, but not too close becuase we know that we're leaving eachother before we even know it. I personally cannot make a college decision and it is getting difficult because i have a deadline for Robert Morris. This is one of the problems with trying to play athletics, is you have to give them an answer before a certain time so that you dont leave them stranded if you decide not to go there. I am still looking for somewhere to go its just like go time right now. And its tough because i have so much going on with basketball and christmas time that i have to make good use of my time.  I guess what happens remains to be seen

stacks on stacks on stacks

Today in creative writing Mr. Denk made us get into teams and stack some styromfoam cups. For this we got into teams of 6 and had one person stack, the one break it down, and just repeated this 2 more times. Our team was a beast, and we had to record time, i think it is actually a world record.

This cup stacking is very similar to way life goes. You keep getting built up only to get broken back down. When the cups are in their 3 formations, it signifies expectation, success, and happiness. But before you know it they are getting broken down into failure, tragedies, and anxiety. Like in life, it is just a recurring cycle. Other people affect results, like your team in this competition. You can only control your part of it, but you can be successful if you do your part. It makes everything better for the team, and you feel better doing it yourself. But one thing that you can realize from this activity is that you can still be successful and happy when the cups are broken down. After all, to win the game, the cups have to be in a broken down position, but at that point you have already one, symbolizing when you finally figure out how to handle the negatives in life and being happy anyway.

Happiness is a form of courage.

People

Seriously. People piss me off. The fact of the matter is, the best things can only be done as a single person. Dont trust anyone. I am not telling you this because of one time, or because of one incident, i am telling you this as something i have learned in the last (almost)18 years. People dont know how to put things into words. For some reason it hasnt always been hard for me. I can explain my feelings easily if i really feel like it. Sometimes i just dont feel like it, but if i do, get ready for it. Im not really afraid to express my feelings either. Ill tell you how i feel to your face. There is no reason to be fake is there? I mean that is one thing that really does make me mad. People who are fake to your face, then say theyre real about it.  Sorry bro but you arent. The face remains that people can see right through that kind of thing. I think the problem with people is that we convince ourselves to be gullible, but we spend our lives trying to convinve people that we are something we arent.

Bothersome(For real)

Well, we did it. Got my second State Champonship two weeks ago. Felt good as hell. But all it really means is back to reality. Im finally ungrounded for the first time in a couple months. And guess what, my parents are already mad at me saying all i do is hang with my friends, but guess what, i dont care what they say, ive been free for like 3 days. Tonight im going to St. Bonaventure University for an Official Visit, no parents. Im so so so excited to get all this alone time. Im literally thinking about turning off my phone. Everyone in my life is pissing me off. There are truthfully only a few people in my life who truly hold me down and know how im feeling, and let me know things i need to know. They'll always have my back, and ill always have theirs. A lot of people have been telling me that i need to get away from high school because my friends are just my "high school friends," but truthfully i feel like we're more than that. I dont wanna say that it's gonna influence my college decision, but it is definitely a PRO, on the list of pros and cons. There is so much going on in my life right now, and i feel like im bout to make myself single forever. Jus copped that new Wale CD, and he drops the best line ever he goes:
family is everything, money is less important,
as long as your momma love ya, dont ever love a woman.

I think this such a real line, i mean i know youre like, "oh well this is just a typical rap line," but no, not really. The mans got purpose and i think this like is something that all people should consider, especially males. Like i know the old cliche', how behind every great man is a great woman, but i truthfully feel like more greatness can be exposed without a distraction such as a woman. I mean i dont know if im just choosing the wrong ones or what, but i feel like its just a negative distraction. I mean ya theyre supportive and all that, thats good and well. But what about when they upset you, i mean for me anyway, the lows with girls are wayy more extreme than the highs. Like yeah, we have fun and all that stuff, she supports me blah blah blah, but like when she pisses me off or gets me upset, i might as well throw my mood out the damn window for a few days. Like maybe it's me, not everybody, but like for real, I have dreams, and i have worked so hard to get where i am, and having these kind of lows just isnt worth it. Like ya it's worth it sometimes, but maybe not in the long run. I mean i love women, but as far as their minds are concerned, they're a wreck(like 97% of em). I mean there is absolutely no reason in taking a few days off to just chill cause yeah those days are nice, but theres gotta be some progress everyday cause we're only here for a short time, and i dont know about y'all but im trying to achieve as much as i can while im here. And having someone like a girl, whose attitude is about as stable as a sand foundation, could be detrimental.

But in reality, my opinion could change next week. Everything is changing anymore, so ask me in a week or two, we'll see where im at. Maybe ill be single. Who knows.

S/O to the school board.

Way to go school board. You are actually acting like there is a drug and alcohol problem. But for some reason this is really bothering me. STOP saying you know its a problem when the reality is that drug and alcohol abuse in our school, is wayyy down compared to past years. So good job on just figuring it out, about 2 years late. They always tell us how bad our grade is, they did in 8th grade now they are in 12th. So let me ask this, what makes you assume it or even look for it? Yeah one girl got in trouble at homecoming, but clearly she was stupid and didnt know how to handle herself. But clearly we've learned how to handle ourselves.

There is parents going to the school board meeting shouting that the school should drug test, search, educate etc. This to me is absolutely f-ing hilarious. Haha good parenting. Another s/o to the parents who went to the meeting, but couldnt be parents. If you think its a problem, do something about it dont ask for help. Thats just how i feel. The parents suck. Oh and about that drug testing, bring it on. I can think of a handful of kids who would fail. Last year, probably 30% of the seniors would have failed. Now it doesnt bother me, like if you wanna smoke by all means light that purp up, but i personally dont. I just dont like it. If you want to drug test us then dont take my parents tax money, tell those bad parents who dont have the time to talk to their kid, but have the time to attend the school board meeting to spend their own damn money on a drug test for their little baby. But that doesnt mean they have to treat us all like criminals. They told us for a month that we were the best senior class as far as spirit goes. Even Coach Palko said he thought we were the best student section he'd seen. But now we're criminals. Theyre all worried about everything, so we cant even have fun anymore. And im not even talking about alcohol or drugs, im talking about cheering at the football game. Its hard to cheer with 5 teachers standing in between us.

Having them tell us a problem is making me wanna do some drugs haha not really, but seriously if their goal is to stop it, getting people criminal records doesnt really help. What would they do with the drugtest anyway?

All im saying is to everyone, dont be scared, have fun, just dont get caught or bring shit to school. Please, do it for the rest of us who arent trying to be treated like criminals.

*Get off that immature and reach into the grown, i dont need your help ill reach my dreams on my own.

All about the Money

Money, Money, Money.  Everyone thinks about it. People who say they dont, either have more than they know what to do with, or theyre lying. I mean im in high school and money is already an issue. Paying for gas, food, golf, and saving up for other things. It doesnt really bother me, i like being able to get money, and i dont mind working. Who doesnt like having money?

But the one thing that gets me is people who complain about working minimum wage. Heres a tip: get a new job. Dont be stupid. If youre working cause either your parents are making you, or you work at a retail store to get a discount, fine. But if youre working because you are trying to make money to keep afloat on car payments and other things, youre just stupid for working for minimum wage. Noone should even listen to your complaints, because there are so many jobs that are for more than minimum wage. And dont say that nowhere is hiring, thats a lie too. I could get you three jobs right now if you really wanted me to, all higher than minimum wage. But one thing too is, i work hard for my money, but it pays off cause i make a good bit. Im not moping around a retail store for $7.25 an hour, im working hard for something close to almost $12 an hour. Im so sick of hearing people complain.

Ive had 4 different jobs in high school. Ive worked at Five Below(yes, i know. dont say anything. it sucked,) Andora, which is an upscale restaurant in sewickley, i used to caddy at Allegheny Country Club, and I currently work at Bravo! Restaurant at The Pointe. Only one of these jobs, Five Below, has been minimum wage, and i only worked there to shut my parents up. All three jobs are things people can do, if youre smart and get a decent paying job and work hard, youll make money. Which helps me cause my parents have all but cut me off. Stopped paying for clothes when i was like 16, stopped paying for golf, all that. All they really pay for is food, and insurance. Oh and they bought me my car, but it was cheap and it was really just to make it easier on them. I pay for gas, and naw its not cheap.

But for the record, if youre working for minimum wage, and you dont like it, it's your fault. Truth is, its not always about just working hard, its about working SMART. You think everyone that works hard is successful? Not even close, some of the hardest working people around make the least money. You cant tell me the hardest working person for a Fortune 500 company is the CEO. Not even close. Not by a longshot.

But now we come to the question. Can money buy happiness? My answer is yes, if you have enough. It takes a huge stress out of life. Most people work hard and grind because of they didnt then they wouldnt be able to pay for anything or even live. If you have enough money where everything is taken care of, and you can pay for everything you want, and do all the things you ever wanted to do, then why would you not be happy? People who say that money isnt important are gonna be the ones who when it comes to paying the bills, or paying for something they didnt necessarily plan to pay for, are gonna be mad, but i just laugh at them, because like i said, if you have enough money to pay for it, then its not even a second thought.

Get your $$$$.
Too much money aint enough money.*

WPIAL Semi-final day

Mr. Denk wanted to me to talk about my round yesterday so here it goes.

It was so wet at Ponderosa Golf Course but i was just happy to be playing. There has been so much negative stuff going on that ive been focusing a lot of my attention to my golf game and my body, and this was my first time in a few weeks to be able to judge how ive been playing. I went in to the round with the mindset that ive been hitting the ball well and doing everything ive needed too so i made the conscious decision that i would just play my game and see what happens.

It was a very up and down, but in the end i was happy with how i played. I made a few dumb mistakes, but mostly kept it in the fairway and kept it under control. Apparently i did it pretty well considering i had the low round by 6 shots. I made 4 bogeys, had 4 birdies, and also an eagle. I shot a 2-under 69.

It was necessarily important to win this round, but not gonna lie i felt like i needed to shoot something good. Everyone has kind of over looking me because i havent been shooting my best scores, but now im feeling confident going in to the finals. Which is a scary thought...for everyone else.  Im so ready to play out at Treesdale and there is noone in the field who scares me.  With everything thats going on, it would feel soo good to get this gold medal.  time to get it! #gotime

Questions?

     Where should we go?
we've come so far,
but it has come to the background,
this relationship  is at a crossroads,
will we keep moving along?
     Is this what we both want?
if it is,
can we keep getting stronger?
i wanna keep moving,
where where should we go from here?

Out of a Crowd

     She walks in,
differently from the rest,
standing with friends,
but it's as if she were alone.

     It's not her smile,
or physical features,
but you can tell just by seeing her,
she is not "typical," in any way.

4 shades of personality

     Some days, I am Sun Orange,
i can bring energy like the sun,
happiness and joy,
light to a dark world,
but like the sun, rain clouds occasionally cover me.
     Other days, i am white as snow,
cold and bitter,
it covers my personal landscape
filled with emptiness,
weightless, looking like a lot, feeling like nothing,
but when the sun comes out, the snow melts away.
     Another part of me is plum purple, like a rainy day,
dark and disgusting,
also with many different forms,
hard rain or light rain,
high winds, which affect other people,
but with rain, flowers can grow.
     On the inside, I am October Gray,
cold and miserable,
noone likes to become like this,
just like noone strives for October,
but once again, the grayness can give way to sun.